I saw a Domestic Violence Panel summit today. There were many advocates and judges providing information for victim’s rights, protective orders and how to seek legal counsel. There was one case that caught my attention. This was a woman who had been in so many abusive relationships and she had children. In order to protect her children the court took full custody because they decided since she wouldn’t do what was necessary to keep them safe, they had to step in legally. My heart was sad for this woman that she was such a victim she didn’t know how to live outside of that environment.
We talk so much about helping people after they are already in a domestic situation? But for many situations and don’t take this the wrong way ; it started before the marriage and could have been prevented. We needed to help people in their brokenness so they can’t be preyed upon. Many of our daughters because of being molested, rejected from their fathers or seeing their own mothers abused, were shaped or marked for a perpetrator or broken man to be attracted to them. We need to teach our children the truth about abuse, pain , and rejection. Start early having these conversations. It’s conflicting when girls see daddy beating mother. It’s conflicting when daddy is a minister or trusted official. No one told these girls daddy was wrong. Or explained is it loving when Mommy or Daddy has bruises? The longer we hide and wear mask we contribute to the domestic violence so many suffer. I’m not judging. This is my story like so many. But the difference, I was honest with my daughters. I told them about my pain .
I didn’t teach them love hurts and it’s acceptable for a person to curse, hit, or take your body when you say, “No.” I did not excuse violence. I taught them their true self worth. I pray we all take the challenge to teach one, love one, and stand in truth for one another. I was in a domestic violent marriage thirty years ago before my children. It happened because I was broken. I didn’t trust I could have more, until I really started trusting God and not just giving him lip service. I am not that broken person anymore. I have been married and loved for twenty five years and not once cursed or hit. When I changed... the portal in my life that allowed violence was closed. Please we have to deal with Domestic Violence at the root. It starts before we enter into relationships. It’s just as much a mind and heart condition as it is physical. It takes courage to deal with ‘why ‘you allow an enemy in your home. Once you discover the truth whatever your story, you can change your pages. Some won’t like you searching for this truth because it will make others have to confront lies they called truth of their own and it’s easier if everyone believes the same thing. But if you want to get free, sometimes you may have to stand alone. But God can help you. He helped me.
This message isn’t of course for everyone in a domestic violent situation and I’m not blaming a person for being abused. I want to help people identify the truth on the inside, to become empowered, whole and protected. If it applies find you and let God help you.
You’re better than domestic violence...